Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A Flower Pot is Not a Hat

Weight: 141 lbs (trying not to freak out)
Drinks: Countless mimosas at the Bens Next Door  (there should definitely be a warning)
Food: eh nothing special

I'm not sure why I've named this blog A Flower Pot Is Not a Hat .  It was one of my favorite books growing up.  It still has some wisdom that is seldom found in books for grown folks.

A flower pot is not a hat
But if you put it on your head
it is

A stair is not a bed
but if you lay on it
and take a nap
it is

I actually wanted to discuss  a string of bad luck i've been having. I guess I don't really believe in luck. But there have been a definite trend lately.

Bad things tend to come in threes.  And good things come peppered throughout.  They distract you from the bad things.  Then all of a sudden the second bad thing happens and you're awakened to the fact  that you're in the middle of this badmind trio.

Thats where I am at right now, waiting for the 3rd bad thing.  In the middle of experiencing a new focus to my writing, an article in the September issue of Marie Claire, vacation planning and photo shoots, comes the first thing:  "Im sorry ma'am but until the next court date there's nothing we can do." 

Then new career paths, job opportunities and new friends comes thing number 2:  "Mommy why are all the lights off?" and "I'm so sorry ma'am since the account is not in your name we can't even discuss this with you."

Yes, two "sorry ma'ams" in the same month.  Not a good sign at all.  The third thing is coming, I can feel it.  But I suppose its all in how you deal with things.  Your perspective.  I usually find myself trying to force some more good things to happen to thwart # 3.  But I know better now.  Its best just to let it happen and deal with the third thing, and wait patiently for good things 6-24 to make it better.  I know it and they will come.  It will happen organically I just have to let things be.  Because after all,

A bad thing is not a crisis
But if you agonize and hide from it
it is

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Frosted Shredded Wheat

137 lbs
haven't cooked all week
last week cooked everyday (tho that was poverty induced)
3 words: Mo Scat OH

So what up y'all? It's been a minute.  So I  thought I'd  drop a proper blog to catch up.  Hmmmm so whats been up with me?

I tried out for the  When Harlem Came to Paris extraveganza by Lil So So Productions . I wrote an essay and she called and said she would like me to be a part. Ha! what do you think of that.  I tried and it worked out.  It was a great night and I looked fabulous.  I may rethink the whole natural girl no make up thing cuz jeez it makes a heck of a difference.  Maybe not skin but definitely eyes.  Oh and I had to perform a bit too.  I wasn't scared at all and I think I did okay.  So much so that I was brave enough to do open mic a couple of weeks ago.  And I know I did more than okay.  Talent is confirmed.  Feeling pretty confident. I did a few more brave things:
  • submitted work to DC Writer's competition (i'm still in the running made it through first round)
  • submitted work to Poet Lore and Poetry online mag
  • submitted story to The Sun
I am also being brave personally.  I'm making new friends.  Putting myself out there and so far so good.  I also am trying to make better choices in dating.  I figure it this way: I get so jazzed everytime I meet someone new or reconnect with someone. Then reality sets in and I realize that not everyone has to be the one.  And I should stop sabotaging myself by keeping men far at bay by offering physical first. Cuz boys have a hard time shifting gears and seeing women for both physical and mental beings. For most men its one or the other and for them to see the mental part, they have to see that first.  If they get the physical first, they never bother to see the rest.  Unfortunately for me, I have this libido that really needs to be put in check.  But c'mon mama has needs!  *sigh*

Anyway, I want to have that Sunday kind of love. A love that last past saturday.  I keep finding Frosted Shredded Wheat love.  You know how frosted shredded wheat starts out all tasty, but then when you get down to it, is just as dry and tasteless as regular shredded wheat.  I mean shredded wheat tastes like straw flavored dirt.  And that frosting is just a tease to divert your attention from the dirt taste.  So yeah I'm looking for some sugar pops or fruit loops or cinammon toast crunch type action.

Next steps:
  •  Continue working on the thing that will change public education as we know it (more information as it is confirmed and publicized)
  • More open mics (but I'm pretty sure I could swing a feature. I got mad personality, son!)
  • finish the book proposal from hell. (agents be making you jump through hoops, yo)
  • finalize promotional pics and while i'm at it some pics of my beautiful sons
  • lock down some summer adventures
  • attend and have fun and learn at the black writers conference in Atlanta in June
I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy. ~Anais Nin