Saturday, September 19, 2009

For All of Us

I finally saw Whitney's interview with Oprah. Saw it over my sister's house. It was a wonderful interview and I enjoyed her performance on part 2. It made me think how many strong women I have in my life. It made me think about how strong I am. Whitney goes through what many women go through. When she sang the song with the line "I am not built to break" I thought, "of course you're not. Neither am I". Then I looked at my sister and thought, "Neither is she." I thought of my mother, I thought of my best friend. None of us are built to break. We as women need to remember that. When we are the middle of it, whatever the "it" is, in that moment, we need to remember that.

I thought if someone had interviewed me after I asked my husband to leave, and someone were to ask me about how I was strong enough to do that, I think my answers would have been so similar to Whitney's. It made me think about how similar we all are, and how its a shame that some of us have to go through so much to find out how extraordinary we are.

Last night I was on the computer reading @fattybella's tweets. Something tells me things are not all good in the hood with her and Jay Electronica. She is hurt, but she will be fine. We want to love so much and so much we want to be loved in return. We sometimes forget ourselves in the love story we create in our heads.

I want Whitney to learn to love again. To be fearless when she finds someone that makes her heart flutter as much as Bobby did. That is the hardest part I think. Talking to co-workers about the interview most of the sentiments centered around how "regular" Whitney is. I think many women identified with her. But Whitney is not regular. Whitney is extraordinary. Her mistake was trying to dim her shine. So many of us are extraordinary and even though so many women go through the same thing it does not make it any less extraordinary. The strength it takes to muster to save ourselves when everything in us tells us to sacrifice ourselves for those we love is extraordinary.

I've been asked how I could just up and end a 13 year relationship with the father of my children, my husband. I don't really understand the question, because in my mind it was him or me and I chose me. simple. simple yet extraordinary.

So here's to all of us. All of us extraordinary women who are not built to break. Here are a few of our stories

I fell in love with the funniest, most talented, beautiful man
Because he hid his faults, I never really got to know him.
I had two children for him.
He tried to dim my shine because he didn't fully understand the magnitude of his own.
I left him before I was broken. And I never looked back.
I'm so looking forward to loving again...greater is he that is in me
Michele Lee Gray Codrington was not built to be broken

My sister fell in love with a man
she married him and divorced him
He also kept secrets.
She lost her job and almost lost her home
She rebuilt her life and is now dating more than I am
Holly Gray-Brown is not built to be broken

My mother is the daughter of a heroin addict.
She never knew her father
She had to raise her brothers and sisters on her own when she was just a child herself.
She married her highschool sweetheart and had 3 beautiful and flawed children
Brenda Mae Gray was not built to be broken

My grandmother was pregnant at 15.
Abandoned by the baby's father when she was not yet showing.
She became addicted to heroin and an alcoholic
She fell in love with her savior.
6 of her 7 children were addicts.
But she survived and so did they
Geneva "Gloria" Jones Hampton was not built to be broken


  1. We are family..Blood line said so yes but I am proud to say it.The status you post remind me some much of myself. I am also moved as a woman.this truly was words of wisdom, encouraging and well said. We all know or have live somewhere along these issues. I too have struggle with my family history,and my mother illness and love Also.Now as a child of drug addict mother that is trying to be better today and hoping for the best tomorrow,I have to remind her about family,life and love. And believe me its hard.She doesnt remember too much butIwas the one who shared with her about her mother..I just thank god for everything..That who I am and what I have become I can insipred to tell any man or woman to hold on this is your beginning but not your ending.

    1. Thank you, Chena. You gave a really good word. "this is your beginning but not your ending." Yess! exactly that! You are inspirational to us all.